do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
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