Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
BRING THE BAGELS
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
