you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
