The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
