last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
