I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
