I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
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