Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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