I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
