The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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