fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
He shit in the fireplace
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
