I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
