Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
