Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
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