that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
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