Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Randomize
