I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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