i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
