? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
