I'm gonna have a badass scar
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
