people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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