Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
