I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Randomize
