What did we do last night that was yellow?
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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