If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
