Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
where are my pants?
in the oven.
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