I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Randomize
