You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
