i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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