The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
