Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
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