Too much gin, very little bucket
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
