She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Randomize
