and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
