I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
