he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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