I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
