So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Terrible idea I love it
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Randomize
