My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
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