if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
third nipple confirmed
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
