i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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