five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Randomize
