He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Randomize
