If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
You dont lie about slip and slides
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
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