How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
