Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
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