I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Randomize
