real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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