I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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