i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Well I just put wine in my tea
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Randomize
